sloppy lover

Sarah was a sloppy
leaver. she was good with farewell
notes,
but she wrote them long and hard.

she almost always took her
clothes,
but it'd stand and look about-
listening to classical music
drunk
while she was out
getting fucked.

I'd
find a pair of
stained panties under
the bed
and their were hairpins everywhere,
stockings
earrings
shoes

Sarah was a sloppy leaver.
in the top drawer next to the Kleenex
It'd find all the notes I'd written her,
neatly bound with rubber
bands.

she'd leave and an
hour later
the cell phone would ring
and it would be
Sarah
and in the backround
music from the
club, some song I
hated, and while she talked
I'd hear men's
voices too.

"Sarah, Sarah," I'd say,
"come on back,
Baby!"

"no," she'd say, "there are other men in the
world besides you. but
I could have loved you forever, Ivan."

"go fuck yourself," I'd say and hang
up.

I'd pour a drink
fire into this machine and
after a while
the cell phone would ring again
and It'd gently
put it on
Silence.

I'd go to bed
and after a while,
I'd be awakened by a sound I had never
heard before-
a pounding at my door
and there he was,
some white guy named
Gavin.

"your girlfriend is on the stairs"

"my girlfriend?"

"she says she wants
you to come get her..."

"all right, it's
possible."

"can you come get her? I don't
want to drag her over here and she says
she won't move
until you come and
get her... and, dude..."

"yes?"

"... we didn't want to call the
police..."

"yea?"

"she's laying on the floor in the
steps and dude... she has
pissed all over
herself."

"o.k." I'd say and
I'd go get her.

I'd walk out in my shorts
to her and there she would be
like a broken up barbie doll,
Sarah.

I'd
pick her up and
carry her out of
there.

I'd get her to the apartment
throw her on the bed
and pull off her wet
panties, skirt and stockings.
then I'd put a drink of water on the coffee table
nearby
sit down on the couch
and
wait.

suddenly she'd sit straight up and
look around the
room and
she'd ask
"Ivan?"

"over here," I'd
wave my hand.

"oh, thank god..."

then she'd see the drink and
gulp it
down. I'd get up,
refill it.

then she'd sit up again:
"who took my panties
off?"

"me."

"me?"

"Ivan"

"Ivan, you can't
fuck me right now.'

"you pissed
yourself."

"who?"

"you..."

she'd sit straight
up then:
"Ivan, you dance like a
queer, you dance like a fucking
woman!"

"go fuck yourself!..."
I'd say.

then she'd put her head back on the
pillow: "I love you, Ivan, I really
do ... "

she'd start snoring then.
after a while
I'd get into bed with
her. I wouldn't want to touch her
at first. she needed a bath.
It'd get one leg up against hers;
it didn't seem too
bad. I'd try the
other.
I'd remember all the good days and the
good nights
slip one arm under her neck,
then I'd put the other around her
belly
gently.

her hair would fall back
and climb into my face.
I'd feel her inhale, then
exhale. we'd sleep like that
most of the night and into the
next afternoon. then I'd be the first to get up and
go to the bathroom
and then she'd get up and
have her turn.