blue v-day

I spent many nights on the long winding roads after work
still thinking of you for some reason, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years later.
5 years didn't make a difference and on the 7th I still remembered.
you came into in my mind at moments in my life when I had new friends
and I knew that I was supposed to be having fun.
you're different now I'm sure and over the years something inside of me
may of idealized you and what you were supposed to be.
I understand I have no control of that, of you and who you are,
I just wish- sometimes..
when I'm in inside of a Denny's or I'm simply alone
somewhere I wouldn't stop for a moment and think of you.

you were like coming home to me.

elvish smile, brown-eyes.
you'll always be gone but I can't cut
you out of me. you're a looming gray cloud that is always there.

I escape in between the light.

the sky is a purple velvet, almost blue like the shades pulled down low by the creator. white lights glow in the sky near a pearlescent moon- orange, full of mood just for you. there may be more then one universe but this one is yours, momentarily alone yet absolute.

the nights are usually blue, in color and in name, in song and in feeling. there is no time for red thoughts, they are sealed away and forgiven. green, green, green. mornings are green, then yellow afternoons.

I remember sunshine days, bright glowing days. I like days that shine like the sun, days with purpose and meaning. It could mean holding hands with nothing, or talking to glowing faces. some faces glow, but none always last. they are not supposed to, they move on in the spirit of things and I am grateful for their momentary presence. blue birds carry their songs, blue birds die.

I don't know where this blue comes from, but I accept it. I can't take it away, believe me I've been working on it. I understand too much.

I miss him

I lost my father.

the universe

a night bright like the sun from green beer and grass.
I think of the pinwheel galaxy 20,870,000 light years from earth.
I take another drink,
there's not much happening here.
there is an exploding star at the end of every word,
a black hole at the center of every galaxy.
in our galaxy like in theirs,
their must be life somewhere inside.
but as the universe expands and the galaxies move further and further apart,
eventually, all stars will die and their remnants will speckle the interstellar sky
of surviving earths like dark glowing embers.
but then they too will die and the universe will be cold and dark and icy
and jesus will be dead and so will jazz(still), and heineken beer
but at least I'll finish mine before that happens and maybe then
I could stop thinking about such stupid shit.