walking in the sun

open the door,
walk outside.
feel the sun on your arms as you
light a cigarette.
walk with a weight in your step.
never shave, let it all grow.
see beautiful girls on the street-
pass them by
but never look.
exhale death, smoke
the color of
concrete jungle
as you
walk alone,
as flowers die
as yellow weeds grow.
you drop a cigarette,
but there is no one
to notice.
you've become invisible.
you're not like them.
the police officers
the homeless
the beggars or
the liquor store owners.
the sun sets
as the bars begin to fill.
in the restaurants there are people
sitting and eating
comfortably.
a waiter comes to a young couple
as I look through
a large glass
window.
these are the lucky ones,
I think,
who got it good
with the cupid's arrow.
something inside me dies for a moment.

but only for a moment.